Puberty is a stage of development where your child’s body starts to take on adult form. Learn about puberty in boys and how to talk to your son about puberty.
Key points
- Talk to your son about sex on an ongoing basis.
- Make sure he knows that masturbation is a normal and private matter.
- Several short conversations about sexuality may be better received than fewer, longer ones.
- Listen to his thoughts in a non-judgmental, unconditionally loving way.
What is puberty?
Puberty is a stage of development. It is when your child’s body starts to change into adult form. During puberty, your child’s brain releases hormones. These lead to changes in the body. Puberty is marked by physical changes. It involves the onset of sexuality, and the ability to reproduce.
How does puberty affect boys?
In boys, puberty starts with the enlargement of the testicles. Over time, the penis enlarges. Your child will have a growth spurt in height and weight. He will develop underarm hair, broader shoulders, and sweat glands. He will develop an enlarged larynx, or voice box. Cartilage will grow around the larynx. This is called the “Adam’s Apple.” The larynx and vocal cords will enlarge. As this happens, the voice will deepen.
There may also be extra sweating, acne, and body odour.
Boys will have new feelings. They may approach their parents and peers differently.
When does puberty start in boys?
The age at which puberty begins is unique per child. Around 17 years of age, the penis will usually reach its maximum size. By 16 or 17 years old, the body will reach adult proportions. Young men have hair under the arms, and on the face, legs, chest, groin, and abdomen.
See your child’s doctor if your son starts to show signs of puberty before age 9. Also, if he is not showing signs of puberty by age 14, see the doctor.
How to help your son prepare for puberty
Open communication
Encourage your son to ask questions about puberty. He should feel free to ask without fear or judgment. Your son’s friends and the Internet should not be his only sources of education. If they are, he may receive some poor advice. If your child has not brought up the topic as he nears his preteen years, start the conversation. Start by asking what he knows about puberty. Offer as much information as you think he needs to know. Numerous short talks can cover various topics. You may want to talk about basic hygiene, sexual maturity, and teenage pregnancy. It is important to discuss this stage of puberty with your child.
Prepare before puberty
Your son’s transition into puberty will be smoother if you help him prepare. Discuss the stages of puberty with your son before he goes through it. Also discuss what “tools” your son will need to manage the signs of puberty. For example, he will need to know how to use shaving products for facial hair. Acne may also be an issue for your son. If the pimples are bothersome, seek help from your child’s doctor.
Growing independence
Puberty is a stage that begins adolescence. With puberty comes growing independence. Your child may start to argue with you more. He may become more disagreeable. He may have mood swings. At times, he may want to be by himself.
It is best to encourage communication. Try to show him that you love him unconditionally. Also, be sure to maintain order and routine in the home. You may need to use different forms of discipline as your child goes through puberty and tests your limits.
Masturbation
Masturbation means touching one’s own genitals. Masturbation is normal. Young men may touch themselves because it feels good. There is no harm in masturbation.
Masturbation can be done at any age. It is more common in older children, preteens, teenagers, and adults. Scolding or punishment may make your child feel ashamed. This can lead to problems with sexuality and self-esteem later in life. Instead, tell your child that masturbation is OK but it is a private matter.
Erections
Many boys will start masturbating more when they reach puberty. That is because they will have more erections at this time. Erections occur when blood rushes to the penis and the penis hardens. Erections are normal. Erections can happen at any time. They can occur with or without arousal. Masturbation can lead to a feeling of pleasure and relaxation.
An erection can happen during sleep. Sometimes, a boy will wake up with wet sheets due to semen being released (ejaculated) from the penis while asleep. Semen is a fluid that contains sperm. Ejaculating while asleep is common.
In puberty, the body starts making more testosterone. This is a hormone. It leads to the many physical changes in the body. These changes include hair growth and getting taller. The rise in testosterone also leads to the production of semen.
Sperm cells contain genetic material. Pregnancy can occur when sperm fertilizes a woman’s egg. Once your son starts ejaculating sperm, he is able to father a child. That is why it is important to talk about practicing safe sex, and other issues related to pregnancy.
Emotional and sexual changes
Puberty involves heightened hormones in the body. There will be new feelings toward peers, and sexual curiosity. Your son may have sexual thoughts or feelings. Many of his peers will talk about sex. They may have sex.
Physical and emotional risks
There are physical risks associated with unprotected sex. Discuss with your son the importance of birth control options. Also talk about using condoms during oral sex or intercourse. This can help prevent sexually transmitted infection.
There are also emotional risks associated with sex. Feelings of jealousy, insecurity, trust, and faith can arise when teenagers become sexually active. Talk to your son about the emotional risks associated with having sex. You can discuss this with him yourself or you can have your child’s doctor or another health care provider start the conversation.
